Tayler

Dear diary, November 3, 07

The day after my Halloween party I woke up and went downstairs. It was about noon because I stayed up late. I said “Good morning” to my mother and sister that’s when my mother told me that my dad was on the phone with his mother and that my great grandma was in the hospital. I cried right at that moment before I even got any details. My mom said she doesn’t know what happened just that she is in the hospital. I heard my dad making a soda so I went into the laundry room where we have a fridge for sodas. I came in crying and my dad asked if I was okay. I just said I don’t know because I don’t know what has happened. He told me that she fell down and hurt her left leg, her right shoulder, her left hand and she hand internal bleeding. We all went into the living room to talk about when we were going to go to New Mexico to see my grandma. What was going to happen was we were going to leave Monday at about ten a.m. and we were going to go to mine and my sisters school and explain to our teachers that we were going to be absent for awhile and to get all of our work for the next three days. But when I was upstairs in my room packing my grandpa (my Dad’s Dad) told my dad that my Grandma isn’t doing to well and we should leave that night. So we decided to leave at four o’clock Sunday afternoon. But we needed more time to do our laundry so we ended up leaving at five thirty. We arrived at the hospital at midnight just in time to see my grandma. She was unconscious because of all the medication she was on to get rid of the pain. I held her hand and it felt like she was squeezing my hand right back. We sat around her and talked about how great she is. My grandma was so spunky, she was a strong lady. One time a man said the “F” word in her house and she told that man “This is my house, this is my property. Outside is your truck and I suggest you get your butt into it and drive away.” those were her exact words. I laughed when I heard that because she was so sweet to everyone and I had never heard her say anything like that! My dad told some stories about her and his grandpa taking him out hunting. They saw a rabbit and his Grandpa told him to shoot it but my dad didn’t see it. Or maybe he just didn’t want to shoot the poor rabbit, but my grandma said something like open your eyes and shoot the thing. Finally Grandpa took the gun and shot the rabbit and they ate it that night. My dad also said she liked to fish and her and her husband went out fishing in the ocean in a tiny little boat. Grandpa told her it was actually safer because in that little boat they were just riding the waves. You have to be a brave person to actually go fishing in the ocean with a little boat. She was a good fisher too. Her and her husband caught thirty pounds trout and a lot of them too. I didn’t get these kind of memories with her because she was too old to do this when I was born. Her husband died before I was born but I wish I had done that kind of stuff with them. She also had bowling trophies in her living room that were hers. That is when I realized how much I didn’t know about her and I truly wish I did know all the things she did when she was younger. The last time we visited was over the summer and I started asking about her childhood than. She said she got in a lot fights even with boys because she was tough. I just laughed. I wanted to stay with her in the hospital all night with her but I decided that if my whole family stayed up all night at the hospital than we would all be grump in the morning and that would not be good. So my mom took me to my Dad’s parents house so we could get some sleep. At about a quarter till nine in the morning me dad called and told us she had passed away about a hour ago. I was so upset. But the thing about my Grandma is if she wanted to live, she could’ve. She was a fighter but she was too tired and she didn’t want to live anymore. Me and my mom got ready immediately and hurried down to the hospital. We got lost in the hospital but finally found the room she was in but when we got there she was gone. I tried calling my Dad many times. Even my sister but her cell phone was dead. I was so emotional we left the hospital and decided maybe they went to my Grandma’s house. I kept calling my Dad but he wasn’t answering his phone. I was really upset because I wanted to be with my family and comfort them but I had no idea where they were. My dad wasn’t letting me and my mom know anything. I tried texting him. We were almost to my Grandma’s house when my dad finally called us. He said they were all at they funeral home, right next to the hospital. So we went back towards the hospital to the funeral home and I was mad because when this happens I would like to know what is going on and not be left out of everything. I felt like my Dad was leaving me out and not letting me know what was going on. I didn’t want to wonder on over town trying to find my family, I felt like that was unfair. We discussed what was going to happen, there would be a viewing on Wednesday (Halloween) so we would be able to say our goodbyes. The Viewing actually happened Thursday. We went and when I saw her lying there I couldn’t move at first. It looked like she was sleeping and it didn’t feel real that she was gone. She looked really good. My cousin Tammy did her hair like she always did when she was alive. I finally was able to move and I went up to her and kissed her on the forehead. She was freezing cold. It felt weird not like normal skin. It was heart throbbing. As I write this I am crying and that is not what I want to do. I know my Grandmother is happier now because she is with her husband. I bet that was quite some reunion. I am sure they are in the highest part of Heaven because that is what my Grandma deserves. My Pa (my Dad’s Dad) said the last conscious thing she said was “Forgive me.” at fist I didn’t know what she had to be forgiven for, she was a awesome, wonderful woman. My Pa just said “God knows.” he also said that God would forgive her for everything if she just asked. I just want to say “I love you Grandma. I know you are watching over us, and I will always have you in my heart and in my thoughts. Thanks for always being there for me and I hope your doing good. You cared for everyone and I deeply appreciate the moments we had together. You were wise and helpful, I love you so much and I miss you so much.”

Love,

Tayler!